“AHHHH, IT’S GOOD TO BE A DRUG LORD.”
Dr. The Angry Sun (now known as Biggs Domino) kicked back his feet and smoked a giant cigar made of gold. Business was going good for Angry Sun Industries. Cheep Cheep cocaine (super mushrooms ground into hallucinogens) and shrooms (saliva from Cheep Cheeps crystallized into a potent powdery stimulant) were selling like hotcakes. Just then, the door burst open. It was Croco, and he was really scared.
“DR. THE ANGRY SUN!!!”
“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, IT’S BIGGS DOMINO NOW?!” Dr. The Angry Sun screamed. “GOD!!!”
“Dr. The Angry Sun, come quick! It’s Anti Guy! And he has ONE MILLION SOLDIERS!”
“WHAT?!” Dr. The Angry Sun roared. “We’re outnumbered!”
Dr. The Angry Sun and Croco were the only two members of Angry Sun Industries.
“That son of a bitch,” Dr. The Angry Sun hissed as he peeked out of the blinds of his office. “He swore to me our feud was over after I blew up Goomba King with that bazooka.”
“Dr. The Angry Sun, are we gonna have a d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-DRUG FIGHT?!”
“Looks like it,” Dr. The Angry Sun growled. He put on his Eternal Blizzard Gauntlet (the destiny brother of the Inferno Gauntlet) angrily. “I’ll show these palookas what it’s like to deal with a REAL Cherry Blossom Warrior.”
Summoning all of his chi into his heart, Dr. The Angry Sun glowed a vibrant pink, and lots of cherry blossom petals swirled around him. It was really great, almost as great as Bleach.
“Let’s go, Croco.”
“I’m right behind you, brother. I always will be.”
Dr. The Angry Sun opened the door. A fire harpoon shot through and blew apart Croco’s face.
“Hey, Dr. The Angry Sun! Fuck you!”
Dr. The Angry Sun looked up to see Anti Guy hovering above him with his jumbo rocket boots.
“It’s Biggs Domino now-“
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Anti Guy began doing figure eights in the sky with his rocket boots as they made the most horrible noise in the entire world.
“WHAT?”
“I said it’s Biggs-“
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
“It’s B-“
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
“What did you say?”
“It’s Biggs Domino now.”
“Okay.”
Dr. The Angry Sun spat out his gold cigar. “Anti Guy, it’s time to finish this. There can only be one drug lord in this town, and that one is ME.”
Dr. The Angry Sun raised his Eternal Blizzard Gauntlet and pounded it into the ground. Five thousand icicles burst out of the earth and killed a thousand people.
“Ha!” Anti Guy scoffed. ” I still have like 999,000 soldiers left!”
Five thousand more icicles killed 999,000 people.
“Fuck!”
“And now,” Dr. The Angry Sun snarled as he pointed his gauntlet at Anti Guy’s head. “It is your turn.”
Suddenly, out of NOWHERE, a blast of pink energy tore Dr. The Angry Sun’s arm off. He whirled around to see Lakilester grinning wickedly while twirling his plasma gunblade.
“Lakilester! You would betray me?! We are sworn Cherry Blossom brothers!”
Lakilester swooped down and howled because he was also a werewolf. As he did, three more Cherry Blossom Warriors burst out of the bushes. Dr. The Angry Sun stared at them in horror.
“Stanley the Bugman! Francesca Pianta! The second ? Block from Super Mario Bros 3! What is the meaning of this?!”
“You’re out of the loop,” Stanley snickered.
“The Cherry Blossom Warriors are no more!” Francesca cackled.
The ? Block from Super Mario Bros 3 didn’t say anything.
“We are a NEW faction,” Anti Guy said smiling as he and the rest of the former Cherry Blossom Warriors surrounded Dr. The Angry Sun. “We are…the SHADOW COUP.”
“The Shadow Koo?”
“No, the Shadow Coup.”
“Oh.”
“And we’re going to seize what’s rightfully ours from Organization Enigma and Organization Seventeen!”
“But what about the Order of the Crying Fire Flower?” Dr. The Angry Sun asked.
There was a hushed, panicked silence as the members of the Shadow Coup looked around nervously.
“We wouldn’t dare…” Anti Guy mumbled.
“Too powerful,” Stanley muttered.
“They already killed Big Lantern Ghost!” Francesca cried.
The ? Block from Super Mario Bros 3 said nothing.
As the Shadow Coup was distracted, Dr. The Angry Sun attempted to sneak away, but Francesca raised her arm and summoned a bolt of dark lightning that struck Dr. The Angry Sun in the butt.
“AGAGHAGHAGAHGHAGH”
Dr. The Angry Sun rolled on the ground in agony. The others closed in.
“Y…you can’t do this!” Dr. The Angry Sun screamed. “I have allies, you know! They’ll come for you!”
“When you meet Boom Boom in hell,” The ? Block from Super Mario Bros 3 rumbled in a demonic voice that made the others clutch their ears in pain. “Tell him the Shadow Coup sent you. And that Jimmy T. will be next.”
The ? Block from Super Mario Bros 3 raised the Omega Dagger and brought it down with the force of eight thousand volcanoes, and Dr. The Angry Sun was totally dead.
