Chapter Six: The Everlasting Despair of the Advent

Many years ago, before the second appearance of the Shadow King, Parakarry was happily delivering letters.

“I had better make sure I deliver all of these letters without misplacing any of them!” Parakarry said because he was delivering letters since he was a postman and not a fireman. 

Parakarry fluttered up to the mailboxes of Toad Town. Carefully he checked the addresses on every single letter. He delivered to mailboxes 201, 203, 205, 207, and 209. Then he went to the other side of the street and delivered to 202, 204, 206, 208, and 210. He handed a package to Rowf the shop keeper as he was standing outside his shop.

“Rain, sleet, or snow, the mail always gets through!” Parakarry said merrily with a wink and a wave!  “We always deliver!”


Then, Parakarry realized something. He had dropped some letters! He was very worried, because he was supposed to deliver those and not lose them instead. He looked around worriedly, and saw that people were upset because they had not gotten all of their letters.

“This wouldn’t happen if we had Seargeant FLUTTER delivering our mail,” said Fice T., complaining.

“Shut up!” Parakarry screamed, clutching his flight cap tightly, “SHUT UP!!”

Frantically, Parakarry looked all over the town trying to find the letters. He looked everywhere and all over the place, wanting to find all the letters, but he couldn’t find any. He was really worried because he didn’t want to lose his job as a postman.

Suddenly, Parakarry saw Big Lantern Ghost walking down the street. Then he went to the wharf to look for letters there, but there weren’t.

“Oh, this is no use! I can’t find letters anywhere! I guess I’m just not as super cool as I thought I was.” He was sad because he didn’t want the post master to shout at him for losing letters again.

“Hey you!” Shouted a strange purple and peach colored worm wearing a top hat and bowtie, “Don’t be so down, my lad!”

Parakarry gasped, it was Chuck Quizmo!

“If ya take my extra fun, super exciting mega cool quiz game, maybe I can help you find your letters!”

Parakarry wasn’t so sure about this. He didn’t know much about quiz games. “Is it like delivering postcards?”

“Ha ha! All you have to do is anwer the riddle I tells ya! Then you win a prize!”

“Golly!” Said Parakarry, because he wasn’t so sure about this. But he had nothing to lose. “What does it cost?”

“Nothing! I just love to tell quizes!”

“I suppose that’s why they call you Chuck QUIZmo,” said Parakarry, slyly.

“HAHAHAHAHA!!” Chuck Quizmo laughed uncontrollably. It was funny because he told people quizes, and he had the word quiz in his name. “HA HA HAH HA!!”

“But you should know,” Chuck said suddenly, “That this quiz is very important. Not even I know the answer to this one. It is said to relate to The Prophecy.”

“The Prophecy?” gasped Parakarry, “What’s that?”

“It is our only salvation! Now here is the quiz:”

A old scroll appeared in front of Parakarry in a flash of light. On it was the following riddle:

The door of disorder is sealed with eight keyholes of destiny. It is not opened. By the power of the Fire Flower, Eight keys are scattered throughout the world. No one knows how to open the chaos door. How is it opened? The door is blue.

“I don’t understand any of this!” Parakarry said, getting a headache, “It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Try!” Chuck said anxiously, “I really like people to answer quizes!”

“It’s REALLY confusing and also hard to understand!”

Parakarry held his aching head, but then suddenly everything was clear to him in a flash of light.

“The eight keys…. Of The Prophecy… can open, the chaos door?”

Chuck Quizmo gaped in surprise. “Of… Of course! The eight keys in the riddle refer to the Eight Keys of The Prophesy! And the Door of Disorder refers to the Chaos Door!! It all makes sense now! We must gather the keys at once and open the door!”

“No…” Parkarry groaned, “We must never open the Chaos Door! It is a bad idea, probably!”


“I AM ORGANIZATION ENIGMA!!” Chuck Quizmo howled in his madness, and his bowtie was consumed by The Darkness.

“Noooo!” Parakarry said. He tried to stop him and didn’t succeed in stopping him.

Quizmo whipped Parakarry with his tail, and disappeared into his tophat. As Parakarry sat there, his concussion sending him into unconciousness. In his delerium, he saw a vision of a trail of postage stamps that pointed the way to The Donut Plains…


“I am a cook and I love to coooook.”

Tayce T. bustled about in her kitchen, cooking delightful foods because she was a cook.  Tayce T. liked to take recipes from people and cook food for them because cooking was her specialty as a cook.  She cooked good.

“If only I had a Dried Pasta and a Koopa Leaf,” Tayce T. said cheerfully to herself.  “Then I could cook Koopasta!”

Just then, the door swung open with so much force.  The Master walked in honorably.  He was the fighting martial arts master sensei at the Toad Town Dojo.  The Master sat down dramatically.

“Hello, Tayce T.”

“Hello!  I’m cooking!”

“What are you cooking?”

“I’m cooking a Shroom Steak, which is made from a Life Shroom and Mushroom!”


Just then, the door swung open with so much evil force.  Tayce T. stopped cooking and turned around. 

It was Kammy Koopa.  She was a Magikoopa dressed in purple clothes with glasses.  She’s a bad guy.

“Nya ha ha ha!”  Kammy Koopa snickered.  “Look outside, you two!  Bombette is being consumed by the darkness!”


Tayce T. and The Master ran outside.  Bombette was becoming evil, because she was being consumed by the darkness.

“BOMBETTE!”  Tayce T. cried.


“What are you doing?!”

“I’m being consumed by the darkness.”



“Nothing makes sense anymore,” Tayce T. sobbed.

“On the contrary,” Kammy Koopa interrupted between mouthfuls of steak.  “Everything makes sense anymore.”

“This must be the Dark Influence,” The Master shouted.  “I learned about this in the ancient scrolls in my dojo that I run as a martial arts master.  It’s related to the Prophecy.”

“What does the Dark Influence do?”  Tayce T. asked.

“The Dark Influence makes good guys become bad guys.”         “NO!” 

“Yes, it does.”


“It’s too late!”  Kammy cackled as she washed down the steak with a glass of milk.  “After the Dark Influence changes a good guy to a bad guy, it is too late.  They are evil now like bad guys.  Like ME.”


The Master ran toward Kammy and began to attack because he knew martial arts.  Kammy dodged because she was on a broomstick.  Then she pulled out her wand.  Then she used evil dark magic to kill The Master.  He died.

“How could you?!”  Tayce T. sobbed.  “HOW COULD YOU?!”

“Well, first I pulled out my wand, then I used evil dark magic and he died.”


“By the way,” Kammy said.  “That was a really good Shroom Steak.  That was a REALLY good Shroom Steak.”

“You…you…ate…my…Shroom Steak?”



Belome threw Tayce T. a black cloak and she put it on.  The Dark Influence was making her mind different and darker.  Tayce T. was no longer a cook.  Now she was an EVIL cook.  Except she’s not gonna cook anymore, so she’s just evil.  Belome also threw Tayce T. four gatling guns.

“Thanks, Belome.”

“No problem-o.”

Belome then teleported away because the Dark Influence allowed him to.  Tayce T. took the four gatling guns and shot Kammy Koopa twice.  She stopped living roughly five seconds afterwards.

“Now that I have a black cloak and gatling guns,” Tayce T. said evilly because the Dark Influence made her evil.  “What should I do next?”

Tayce T. went over to her mailbox and looked inside.  She pulled out a postcard with the words “Come to beautiful Organization Seventeen” superimposed over a picture of a tropical sunset with evil tiki drinks.


Tayce T. went into the house to get ready.  She started to cook, but then she realized that she could not, because she was evil now.  Sobbing heavily, she took her gatling guns and left her happy cook past behind, turning now to her bleak and evil future with Organization Seventeen.  She used to be a good guy, but because of the Dark Influence, she was now a bad guy. 

Meanwhile, Bombette was still evil and killed eighty-nine people.


Kooper and Goombario were walking along one day in Pleasant Path, reminiscing about their adventures and how good their friendship was.

“I was thinking about archaeology the other day…” Kooper explained.  “And it occurred to me that some things get buried in the dirt after a long time!”

“I wonder what Mario would do if he knew that!” Goombario wondered.  “I’ll bet I would react in a similar fashion!”

“This day is wonderful!” Kooper said with a smile.  “I hope nothing goes wrong.”

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE FURY!!!” a voice said, floating down from the skies on a jetpack helmet.

“OH NO!! IT’S FAWFUL!!!!!” Kooper and Goombario said simultaneously in fear.

“I’m doing the committing of crimes!” Fawful laughed.  “Because I’m EVIL and I have lots of FURY built up!”

“Fawful…” Kooper said, tears escaping from his eyes.  “Why do you have to be so furious?”

“Kooper, don’t!” Goombario warned.

“I know you’re not like this!” Kooper yelled, ignoring his Goomba buddy.

“What are you mustard fink-rats talking about!?” Fawful inquired, because he didn’t understand what Kooper meant.

“I mean that you have goodness in your heart! Somewhere!” Kooper explained.


Fawful pulled out two gattling guns and pointed them in the general direction of the two, although it was slightly off and if he were firing, not every bullet would hit.

“I HAVE FURY!!!” Fawful said furiously, firing his weapons in a lot of directions.

Kooper and Goombario jumped, dove, barrel-rolled and backflipped until every bullet Fawful had fired was avoided.  Fawful was fucking pissed.

“You fink-rats!” he growled.  “I WILL DISPOSE OF YOU FINK-RATS WITH MUSTARD FURY!”

“Stop it, Fawful!” Kooper cried, diving into the Beanbean.  “Please, STOP!”

Kooper bumped into Fawful.

“What’s this?” Fawful said, shivering.  “I feel warm and fuzzy! Is this FURY!?”

“It’s FRIENDSHIP!” Kooper announced proudly.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Fawful screamed, wincing in pain  “It CAN’T be!!”

Goombario thought about what Mario would do in this situation, but opted to go through with his own plans.  “Fawful, come with us. We’re about to play Freeze Tag with our friends at Koopa Village!”

“I… I can’t…” Fawful said, crying.  “It’s not in me!”

“It is!” Kooper said.

“No! No it’s not! It’s NOT in me!” Fawful corrected.

“I KNOW it is!”

“No, it isn’t!”

“Surely it is!”

“No, really it’s not!”


Fawful struggled with his affection and wandered towards a field next to them.  “I have too much fury, Kooper!” he roared.  “I can’t be friends with you!”

“Forget about your fury!” Kooper cried.

Suddenly, a part of the field caught on fire because it was very sunny that day as it was in the middle of the Summer and it wasn’t very cloudy.  Immediately the entire field burst into flame.

“OH NOOOOOOOOO!!” Fawful screamed while on fire.

“FAWFUL!!!” Kooper cried, reaching for his friend.

“I AM DYING! IN A FIRE!” Fawful cried, being burnt by the fire that was surrounding him.


But it was too late.  The fire went away and all that remained was ashes.  Fawful had been killed, and the murderer was nature.

“Oh wow,” Russ T. said, having witnessed the whole thing.  “Fawful died! It is surely a sign that the prophecy is unfolding!”

“I know he could’ve been my friend…” Kooper cried, falling to his knees.  “I just want to see him again!  I wish I could be reunited with him!”

Goombario consoled his friend.  “It’s too late now, Kooper. He’s not coming back.

Kooper sobbed right there on the path.  He missed his lost friend.


“You don’t understand,” Ludwig sneered as he pulled out his wand, that all Koopalings have.  He was ready to shoot magic from his wand.  Magic that would kill a person. 

“No, you don’t understand!” Birdo cried as she straightened her red bow.

“Actually, I do,” Ludwig responded.  “I’m not sure why you even said that, because I do understand..  After all, I understand everything about the Prophecy.”

“No, you don’t!” Birdo screamed as she shot eggs out of her mouth.

“What the-YES, I DO!”  Ludwig shouted.  “The Koopalings learned this because we are bad guys!”

“NO, YOU DON’T!”  Birdo shrieked as she straightened her red bow again, shot eggs out of her mouth, and was pink.

“I’ve had enough of your insolence!”  Ludwig bellowed.  “Prepare to taste my magic!  And I assure you won’t taste good!  It’ll taste like you getting KILLED!”

With that said, Ludwig shot magic blasts from his magic wand.  Birdo jumped over them. 

“Come now, Birdo,” Ludwig sneered with a grimace.  “We’re not so different, you and I.”

“Yes, we are!  You have blue hair!”

“No, BESIDES that,” Ludwig snapped.  “You used to be a bad guy too, remember?  Back in your Subcon days.”

“I don’t want to remember those days!”  Birdo cried.  “I’m a good guy now!  Not a bad guy!”

“And yet you seemed so devastated when you learned that Fryguy was dead.”

“That’s because…Fryguy was my friend.  Even though he was a bad guy.  But I was a bad guy too.  But now I’m a good guy, like in Mario Kart.  But anyways, Fryguy was my FRIEND!”

“Well, now he’s a friend…who is DECEASED.”


The two foes prepared to attack each other.  Birdo prepared to shoot an egg from her mouth while Ludwig prepared to shoot magic from his wand.  But then a voice rang out through the chaos.

“Hey, I’m Rip Cheato.”

Birdo looked over.  It was Rip Cheato.  He waved.

“Want to buy a Star Piece for 64 coins?”  Rip Cheato offered.

“You’d better watch out,” Ludwig warned.  “That guy is a cheat.  He might give you a Dried Shroom instead of a Star Piece.  Then your 64 coins would be wasted because Dried Shrooms are not expensive.”

“No, thank you,” Birdo said to Rip Cheato.


And so he left.

“Now then,” Ludwig snarled.  “IT’S TIME TO FINISH THIS!”

Just then, a cab crashed down from the sky.  With its engine roaring, it slammed into Ludwig.  Ludwig was flung through the air and landed in a spike pit.  The spikes killed him.  A bulldog and a small cat climbed out of the cab and waved cheerfully.

“Who…who are you people?” Birdo asked because she was curious.

“We drive a cab!” Dribble announced triumphantly.

“Yeah!”  Spitz said.

Birdo climbed into the cab.  “Are you guys good guys too?”  She asked tentatively.  It would be awkward if they were bad guys.

“GET READY FOR A MICROGAME!”  Dribble screamed, his eyes bulging and spit frothing from his mouth.

“Yeah!”  Spitz said.

Birdo concentrated heavily.  She only had four lives.  If she lost this microgame, she would lose one of them!  Grabbing her stylus, she rolled that toilet paper roll as fast as she could.


Birdo’s eyes narrowed.

“Bring it.”

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