Theodore backed away as the massive creature stalked closer. Its eight legs, each ending with a hand filled with long and bony fingers, brushed alone the ground until it leaned over him. It watched Theodore with cat-like eyes, pupils widening.

“Hey Glut!” Lemmy said, waving.

“I see that we have visitors,” Glut said. His voice was a cloying rasp. “What’re they doing here, Lemmy?”

“He wants me to quit the Red Caps. He says I’ll get in big trouble if I keep attacking humans.”

Glut chuckled. “You know what I think? I think you’ll be in bigger trouble if you try to desert.” He swiveled one of his eyes to focus on Oboe. “Isn’t that right, little faun? Want to tell him about that cage we put you in?”

Oboe gave him a dirty look.

“Wait.” Theodore turned toward her, alarmed. “You’re one of the Red Caps?!”

She was careful to avoid his eyes, ashamed. “No!” She said. “Not anymore! I quit!”

Glut licked his teeth. “Is that so? You didn’t beg the boss for forgiveness? That’s disappointing. Guess I’ll have to give you a permanent punishment.” He looked down at the gnome. “Watch close, Lemmy. You’ll get worse if you try to run.”

Oboe stepped between them. “Don’t listen to this jerk! He’s not a real friend! Real friends don’t threaten you or hit you!” She whipped around and pointed at Glut. “You stuck me in a cage thinking no one would ever let me out! Well, you were wrong!” She grabbed Theodore and pulled him forward. “Theo here is the Ranger Deputy! And he’s going to put a stop to all of you!

Theodore squirmed in the center of attention. Glut eyed his uniform up and down. “So he is.”

The spider-beast smacked Theodore away, sending him flying across the chamber and crashing through a stack of old rotting barrels. Theodore struggled to move, dazed. Had he broken any bones? He could hear Oboe shouting. He had to do something or he would be killed. Pulling himself onto his feet, he saw Oboe grappling hand in hand with Glut. The two strained against one another’s brute strength.

“Stay away from him!” Oboe screamed.

Glut grabbed her with one of his other hands, and Oboe shrank, slipping through his fingers as a tiny mouse before leaping onto his face. She ballooned into a grizzly bear and tore into him, biting and scratching.

Theodore’s fingers trembled over Fritz’s knife, still at his belt. His mind raced. Could he bring himself to do anything with it? He’d be killed. This was a fool’s errand from the start. Oboe was one of them. He needed to run while the monsters were distracted. He staggered towards the exit.

“Lemmy!!” Glut shouted, struggling to pull Oboe off his face, “Don’t let the human escape! Get him!”

Theodore and Lemmy met each other in the eye. Doubt was etched in the gnome’s face, but he raised his arms.

“Is this who you want to be?” Theodore said. “Your mom wanted me to help you.”

“What do you care?!” The gnome said. “At least the Red Caps want to make things better for creatures!”

“It doesn’t have to be like this!” Theodore said, desperate. “We can fix things together!”

Lemmy’s arms fell limp. “…Do you promise?”

“You little…” Glut spiked Oboe into the ground and she snapped back to her normal form. Glut scrambled across the chamber to block the exit. “I’m going to kill the lot of you!”

Theodore moved to help Oboe up. She teetered in his arms. “Are you okay?! Can you still fight?”

“Yeah, I… Let me… at’em.” Her eyes blinked out of synch and out of focus. “Just tell the cave to quit spinning.”

Behind them, Glut was plugging the way out with rocks. He turned back with a hungry grin once they were sealed inside.

“We’ve got to run,” Theodore said, slinging Oboe’s arm over his shoulder. He helped her into one of the smaller tunnels, too narrow for Glut to fit inside, and Lemmy scrambled in after him.

“Come here you little morsels!” He reached through the opening to grab at them. “There’s nowhere to go!”

They tried to back away, and almost tipped over into a pit.

“Is there another way out?” Theodore said.

Lemmy shook his head. “There’s just pits this way! It’s a dead end!”

Theodore remembered falling down a dark pit as a child. He swallowed. What were the odds this was the same hole? Behind them, Glut’s long arm snaked around rocks to snatch him up.

“We’re going down,” he said. He grabbed Lemmy, took hold of Oboe, braced himself, and jumped.

Theodore tumbled into darkness with Oboe in his arms and Lemmy clinging to his face. They bounced down the clefts of the shaft, collecting bruises, until they landed like a heap of laundry at the bottom.

Sore, but alive, Theodore pulled Lemmy off his face. He looked around to see the cavern lit up in streaks of azure and violet. Veins of old magic ore veined through the walls, glowing bright.

Theodore was relieved to find that the frames of his spectacles were bent but not broken. He looked up the shaft, hoping there was no way for Glut to follow them.

“How’d you know this was down here?” Lemmy said. His voice echoed off the walls.

Theodore pressed a fresh crink out of his spine. “It’s a hard fall to forget.” He checked to make sure Oboe was breathing. “Are you okay?”

Her eyes popped open. “Yeah!” She rolled over and sprang onto her hooves. Up and alert, she marveled at the fossilized magic around them. “It’s pretty down here!”

“Nevermind that,” Theodore said. “You owe me an explanation. You didn’t tell me you were one of the Red Caps!”

“Oh.” Her ears drooped. “Is it okay if I tell you now? I was a member of the Red Caps.”

Theodore could not believe this. “So you were a criminal the whole time.”

“No!” She said. “I’m not wicked! I only joined for a little bit.”

“And that makes it okay? Why would you join a band of outlaws?!”

Looking down, she shuffled her hooves. “I didn’t know they were bad. It was all these different creatures, acting like a family. They said they wanted to make the Whirlwood a better place, and didn’t care who I was. It was nice. I thought I could make some friends.” She wiped her snout and looked up. “Then they asked me to use my magic to hurt humans and got mad when I said I wouldn’t. They wouldn’t let me leave after that.”

Theodore grabbed a handful of his own hair in frustration. “What you’re telling me is you joined without realizing what you were joining. …Are you an idiot?”

Lemmy punched Theodore in the shin. “Hey!” He said. “Lay off!”

Theodore looked down at the gnome.

“The faun didn’t do anything wrong,” Lemmy said. “Lots of creatures join the Red Caps wanting to fix things. It’s not her fault they turned nasty. I saw what happened. She stood up to Silas and Glut and five whole trolls even though she didn’t stand a chance. I say that makes her real brave!”

“What does that make you?” Theodore said, pointing. “The Red Caps attack your village and you join them? What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m just a gnome,” he said. “If a faun couldn’t win, I wasn’t about to try.” He shrugged. “Joining meant he’d leave mom alone, and maybe I could be part of something big. Silas needs numbers if he’s going to turn things around.”

Theodore scoffed. “And your solution is fighting humans?

Lemmy bared his teeth. “The only thing you humans care about is harvesting magic! You forgot about us. Maybe fighting is the only thing that’ll make you pay attention!”

“It doesn’t have to be like that anymore,” Oboe put herself between them. “If Theo is the new Ranger Deputy, that means he can talk to the humans and we can work things out. …Right?”

Theodore had no argument. It was clear from the number of creatures swarming the office for help that things had gotten out of hand. “…There hasn’t been a Ranger Deputy in months. Maybe if there had been, this wouldn’t have happened.”

The little hedgehog man looked him dead in the eye. “Did you mean what you said earlier? Are you really going to help us?”

Theodore hesitated. There was no way he was the right person for this task, but it wasn’t something he could turn his back on either.

“I’m going to do what I can,” he said. “The governor needs to know about this. Maybe the King. Something needs to happen.”

Lemmy’s face softened. Looking down, he nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I don’t want to be wicked. This just felt like the only thing I could do. If there’s another way, if I can count on you, I think I made the right call.”

Like that, the argument was over. Theodore felt uneasy, like he was saddled with more than he bargained for, but at least now they could move on.

“What do we do now?” Oboe said.

“Well, first thing we need to do is find a way out of here,” Theodore said.

Oboe glanced around the chamber. There were five different tunnels heading in every direction. “Which way is out?”

Theodore had no idea, but both creatures stared at him and waited. It appeared the Ranger Deputy was expected to lead them out of trouble. He sighed. There was nothing to do but start looking.

Traipsing up and down the mine, Theodore wracked his brain trying to remember how his father escaped. The memory was bitter and foggy. He was crying, and his father ordered him to be quiet. They were both speckled with blood, and Theodore recalled feeling as scared of his father as he was of the creatures. Lance pulled him along by the arm, feeling his way along a trail of light.

Theodore traced his hand over the vein of fossilized magic. He scraped at the filth that crusted the top and followed the glow underneath.

“There!” He said, recalling his father’s excitement. “The mine cart tracks! They should connect to the outside! We can follow them!”

“Good thinking!” Oboe said.

“Uh, guys?” Lemmy started to bristle. “…Do you hear that?”

Theodore stopped to listen. A sound was swelling through the lower chambers. A mournful melody rang on strings, echoing off the tunnel walls. “What is that?”

Oboe flicked her ears. “Sounds like a violin to me.”

Lemmy scrunched his face. “I don’t know a lot about exploring caves, so I my might be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure that’s a cello.”

“You’re right,” Oboe said. “Definitely a cello.”

There was little chance of the musician being friendly. “We can sneak by if we keep silent,” Theodore said. “Come on.”

The music only grew louder as they followed the rails. It was a dirge, bleak and slow, and each note echoed through the tunnels around them to linger.

Oboe kicked a stone by mistake. It clattered along the cave floor, and the music was gone.

“Sorry!” Oboe said. Theodore hushed her and leaned against the wall. After a few moments of perfect silence, he motioned for the others to follow him as he crept along the wall. Rounding the corner, Theodore peeked and discovered a bedroom.

A cello was propped up against a wall but the musician was absent. A long hammock stretched overhead between rocks. Books were strewn about in a messy, irritating manner alongside dirty dishes.

Whoever was here had gone but was no doubt nearby. Theodore entered with caution. In the center of the room was a stalagmite cut across to form a table. A map of the country was draped over it, with white tokens spread over the valley and black ones piled on top of the capital city.

Scraps of paper were strewn everywhere. Some were crumpled, most were torn to pieces, but one in particular appeared to have been flattened back out. Theodore bent over to look. It was filled with scratched out sentences and short blurbs. A few scattered phrases were circled, underlined and re-written over again.

Fount is the key. Choke the city. Starve them out. Like they did w/Scarlett. Justice.

Devil damn them. parasites

There was a crude drawing of the Fount, with sketches of possible fortifications.

Low ground. awful position. Perimeter huge. Open/Vulnerable.

Need more recruits to hold.

Countess sends money. need SOLDIERS

Need army. How?Force them? I can’t Greater Good

Hollows = cowards. toadies. useless.

Fair Lady = no support. Recruit from Whirl

Scarlett

Theodore put the note back, feeling faint. He found a first draft for a revolt. “This is the leader’s room.” He scanned the shadows for the vanished musician. “We need to leave.”

Oboe struggled to climb back out of the hammock. “Okay! Which way do we go from here?”

“Uh. Not that way.” Lemmy said, pointing.

Theodore looked and saw a black fog rolling into the room from one of the tunnels. Beyond the bend of the passage, a sound could be heard. The noise of claws scraping along the rock wall grew louder, until the figure appeared. Silas Jack lurched through the shroud of vapor, his eyes shining bright red.

“Pardon us, we were just passing through!” Theodore said. He snatched Lemmy off the ground and pointed Oboe and himself in the opposite direction. Fog chased them as they raced blind through the passages.

Gloom swirled after them, filling the cavern faster than they could move. Theodore’s heart pounded as he heard the thundering laugh of Silas closing in behind them. He was so panicked that he almost missed the forking path.

“Wait!” Theodore grabbed Oboe by the arm to halt her and was almost dragged off his feet.

“What??”

“The tracks!” He waved his arm toward them which ramped up the branching tunnel.

It took a precious moment for Oboe to catch his point. Dark mist swamped around their ankles. She changed herself into a large goat.

“Get on my back!” She said.

There was no time to argue. Theodore climbed on, with Lemmy clinging to his shoulder. Oboe sprang forward along the path of the tracks, bounding as fast as she could while rolling black smoke chased them up the shaft. Theodore held on for dear life, terrified of falling off. Silas reached through the thick fog behind them, his hands and face growing larger. His jaws opened, and sparks of fire licked across his teeth. Theodore grabbed Oboe by the horns and steered her away as Silas spat a spray of flames. Oboe sprinted up and up along the tracks until, with one final leap, they burst through into open daylight.

Theodore peered back, jostled as Oboe bounced down the hillside and into the trees. Black fog exploded out the mouth of the mine. It slowed, spreading in every direction now. If Silas was fast out in the open, Oboe was faster. She darted through the trees, home free.

“Idiot!” Mahala struck her son over the head with her cane. “Fool!”

“Ow!” Lemmy pawed at the fresh bump on his bowed head. “Aw ma. Don’t make such a big deal about this. It was just one train heist!”

“I don’t care what it was! You could’ve died! You ought to be ashamed of yourself. This is the biggest embarrassment to have ever befallen the Molehill family name!”

“What about Uncle Lanny?”

Mahala struck her son a second time. Theodore wondered whether he had paid the gnome any favor by bringing him home to the Boroughs. She reeled back for a third go, but Oboe caught the cane before it connected and lifted the old gnome into the air by the stick.

“Don’t be mean,” Oboe said. “Everybody makes mistakes. What matters is what he does from now on.”

Mahala glared at Oboe but said nothing. She let go and dropped to the ground, where she turned her attention to Theodore. “Thank you for returning my good-for-nothing son. You’ve no idea what this means to me.”

“Just… er, doing my job,” Theodore said, for lack of a better response. “But it wasn’t just me. You ought to thank Oboe as well. I couldn’t have done this without her help.”

Oboe held a gasp. “Really? I thought you were mad at me!”

Part of him was. She had been a Red Cap and withheld that information, but there had been time to reflect and Theodore needed to be fair. “I don’t think you or Lemmy are wicked. You got caught up in something you shouldn’t have, but you also put yourself in danger to set things right. I think that deserves recognition.”

“…Very well,” Mahala said. “If the Ranger Deputy says I should, then I must. …Thank you, faun, for bringing my son home.”

Oboe beamed with pride, smiling ear to ear. She bent down to hand the elder fairy back her walking stick. Mahala snatched it back, grumbling.

Theodore turned toward the ruined grove of trees. “Will you two be okay? The Red Caps wrecked your home. What will you do now?”

“Eh, it’s fine.” Lemmy strolled toward the torn-up trunk. “Lots of us gnomes have growth magic. The hard part will be carving new furniture. Give it time and the Boroughs will be better than new.”

“How about you get to work if it’s so easy!” Mahala said.

Lemmy sighed and pressed his hands against the tree. He eyed Theodore sideways. “You see what I have to put up with? She’s way scarier than Silas.”

Mahala shook her cane. “Less talking, more fixing!”

With his eyes closed, Lemmy concentrated. The tree creaked and budded with fresh life, growing right before their eyes. It was the same sort of magic that halted the train. It reminded Theodore that Lemmy was part of the assault. He was guilty of treason, and the law dictated he should be sent to the Court to be judged.

Precedent suggested Lemmy’s reason for becoming a Red Cap did not matter. A court Justice did not offer mercy to a creature guilty of attacking humans. After all the trouble they’d gone through to save the gnome, a death sentence seemed a poor end for the fairy creature.

Theodore decided it didn’t need to be a problem. He was bruised and sore and aching for sleep, and this mess had sidetracked him from researching a loophole out of this job.

“I’m glad things turned out well,” Theodore said. “I’ve other matters to attend to, so I must be on my way.”

Lemmy pulled his hands away from the tree, worn out and panting. “Wait! Mr. Deputy!”

Theodore paused long enough for the gnome to catch his breath.

“I know I said a lot of crap about humans, but you seem okay. I didn’t think you lot cared about us fair folk, but you went to a lot of trouble for me. …Mom has the right of it. Odds are I would’ve wound up dead if I stayed with the Red Caps. I’m still real worried about how things are, but I think with you around it might be okay. Thanks for pulling me out of there.”

“You were so cool!” Oboe said. “You snuck in there and saved him and you didn’t even hurt anybody! Just like you said you would!”

Theodore felt a tingle at the praise. It was foolish, but for a moment being the Ranger Deputy didn’t feel so bad. He offered them a half-hearted salute and turned toward home.

There was a loud bang, and Theodore woke with a start. Half asleep, he reached off the wrong side of bed to feel for his glasses. It took him a bleary moment to realize he was not in his old apartment. His skin crawled as he remembered he was miles from the city, deep inside the Whirlwood.

Heart racing, Theodore put on his glasses. Had he imagined the noise? It sounded like something large and heavy had fallen somewhere downstairs. He promised himself it was nothing. He rolled over to go back to sleep, only to notice the window hanging open. A draft chilled the room, and moonlight pooled through the hole. He was certain he had latched the lock before bed. It was impossible for him to sleep without checking at least twice.

He hurried, stubbing toes and fumbling in the dark, to get a lantern lit. A silhouette scrambled out the window the moment light filled the room.

Theodore slammed the shutters and locked them, as if it made a difference. Whatever that was had gotten in before. He wheeled around, assessing the room, but found nothing but a toppled chair.

There was another loud bang below, setting Theodore’s hair on end. This was no dream. He pondered what to do. Perhaps he could barricade himself in this room and hope for the best.

The Ranger Deputy badge sat on the nightstand. He took it and turned it over in his hand. Taking a deep breath, he pinned the badge to his pajamas and tried to hold onto whatever bravery he had left over from yesterday. The bedroom door creaked when he opened it, but not as much as the stairs. Each step made an impossible amount of noise until he reached the bottom.

He spotted something in the office, just beyond the glow of his lantern. A figure sitting at his desk, motionless.

Theodore forced himself to speak. “Who goes there?” He steadied his hand and puffed out his chest. “I will have you know that we are well beyond normal operating hours! Show yourself!”

An eternity passed. Theodore held his breath as the sitting figure failed to stir. He took a step closer, and the metal in the chair squeaked as it turned to face him.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Silas Jack smiled at him with rows of pointed teeth. His waxy skin was bright against the shadows. His nose was hooked, and his hair was wild beneath his stained red cap.

“What are you doing here?” Theodore said, trying to sound the part of Ranger Deputy.

Silas leaned forward. “Did I wake you?” He slammed a fist into the metal filing cabinet. Theodore flinched when it rang like thunder. “Good. Sit down. You and I need to have a little chat.”

Theodore glanced at the door. He knew he could not outrun him without Oboe. “You… You need to leave. You are trespassing on government property.”

“We can do much worse than that,” Silas said.

The door opened from the outside. A troll with a squashed face leaned in through the frame.

“You want a hand with this one, boss?” She said. Her voice was deep and rasping.

Silas waved her away. “I can handle the pipsqueak, Dina. Leave us.” The door shut, and he turned his attention back to Theodore. “I told you to sit down, human.”

No good could come of this. “You’re in my chair.” Theodore said, stalling.

Silas sat back, amused. “I was here first.” He glanced toward the window as something crawled along the outside of the cottage. “You know how long these woods have been here? How many ages have come and gone since it was kissed by the Mother’s magic?” His face stiffened, his expression souring. “You think you can just settle down, build some walls, and decide how everyone else gets to live?” He banged his fist like a gavel. “We were here first! All of us! You don’t belong here! You don’t get to tell me where to sit!” He raked his claws across the desk, peeling varnish off the wood. “I’m the boss around here, and I’m telling you to sit!”

Theodore sat down, eyes wide.

The show of obedience calmed Silas. He looked down at Theodore from the far side of the desk, his smile creeping back.

“That’s right,” Silas said, sitting down again. “Now that we understand who’s in charge, do you know what I want to talk about?”

Theodore squirmed, wondering whether he would die tonight. “What?”

“Yesterday you trespassed on my land, rifled through my things, and kidnapped a member of my group.” Silas steepled his fingers. “Tell me, Deputy. You’re a lawman. How should such crimes be punished?”

Theodore said nothing. He held his breath and kept still.

“We don’t need trouble makers around here,” Silas said. “We don’t need humans either. Which is why they have a habit of… disappearing.”

“Listen,” Theodore said. “I don’t want to cause any problems.”

“You are a problem.” Silas rose to his full height. “You’re getting in my way.”

Theodore held up his hands. “I’m sorry! I was just doing my job! I don’t want to be here! They put me here against my will! We can work something out!”

“Human deals are worthless,” Silas said. Black smoke poured out from his coat as he moved closer. “All I want is your life.”

Theodore knocked his chair back trying to get away. “I leave you alone, you leave me alone! I just want enough time to get out of this assignment! Please! I don’t want anything to do with this place! Just let me go! I don’t want to die!”

There was nowhere to run. There were more monsters outside. Theodore’s back was up against the wall. Silas sauntered closer, sawing his claws together, and smiled.

“Alright, human,” he said. “I accept your truce. Do you know why?”

“Tell me,” Theodore said, hoping not to push his luck.

“Because you know your place, and because I can kill you at any time.” Silas leaned into Theodore’s face. “Do not cross me again.”

With a gesture of magic from Silas, the door of the office snapped open. His smoke curled through the air as he glided into the night, laughing. As he faded from view, Dina the troll peeked through the door way.

“Uh. Looks like you’re off the hook. Have a good evening I guess.” She said, then reached inside and shut the door.

Theodore slumped against the wall, unsure of whether he had been spared. He rubbed the sweat from his face and pushed himself back onto shaky legs. His nerves were so fried he felt he might never sleep again.

At his feet, Theodore found his badge. He bent to pick it up and weighed it in his hand. He wasn’t a knight. The job of Ranger Deputy was forced on him. The problems in the Whirlwood were too big for him to fix, and he wasn’t going to die like his father. Theodore clenched the badge tight and then hurled it across the room.

He wasn’t staying another night in this damned valley. Stomping across the office, he piled every last law book he could find onto the desk. Somewhere in the fine print there was a loophole that would let him wriggle free of this nightmare assignment. There had to be. All he needed to do was find it. He settled in, notepad and ink pen in hand, knowing he could not afford to fail.

Laien Military recruitment guideline 6.11.04/B stipulated that any candidate for the office of Ranger Deputy was required to have certification in Advanced Knight Training (AKT). Any personnel failing to meet this standard would have this application rejected or be dismissed if wrongfully appointed, per the decree of King Anthony Goldenroad.

There it was. Relief washed over Theodore. After hours of tearing through hundreds of pages and dozens of appendices, Theodore had found the loophole he needed. He tried to steady his shaking hand as he transcribed the finding in a formal letter of resignation. All he needed to do was present the envelope to one of the Bureaucracy Dome File Masters, and then he would be free.

The Governor would put up a fight, but it didn’t matter. The law was established after an unqualified squire volunteered for the position and failed to stop a major fairy riot. If the case was brought before the courts, legal precedent was on Theodore’s side. Nothing was going to stop him.

Hurrying to collect his things from around the cottage, Theodore shoved the sum of his life back into his two suitcases. He shed his Ranger Deputy uniform and put on a proper sweater vest and tie. The letter of resignation was tucked into his breast pocket. It was his ticket to the life he wanted.

Right when he was ready to leave, there was a knock at the door. Theodore kept quiet, wondering if the Red Caps had come back. A peek through the keyhole revealed it was only Oboe, who somehow looked even more excited than usual. Theodore opened the door with a sigh.

“Good morning, Theo!” She said, struggling to stand still.

“Hello Oboe,” Theodore said, frowning. “I told you not to call me that. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for you today. I’ve important business and I need to leave.” He grabbed his luggage and attempted to maneuver around her.

“Wait! Please!” She held out her arms to block his escape. “I know you’ve got a lot to do, but that’s why I came! I was up all night thinking, and there’s something I want to ask!”

There was no room to squeeze past her. “What is it?” He said, pondering whether it would be prudent to make a break for the backdoor.

“I… Um.” The certainty in Oboe’s face drained away, and it took her a moment to rally herself. “…It’s just, yesterday was nice. I had a really good time.”

Theodore tried and failed to wrap his head around what she just said. “We almost died yesterday.”

“Well, yeah, that’s true,” she said. “That part was scary. But we helped those gnomes, and that felt really good! …I got to be useful, and I don’t get to do that very often.” She hesitated, looking scared. “That’s why I want to work here with you. …If that’s okay?”

Theodore squinted, growing more baffled. “You want to work here?”

“Yeah!” Oboe said. “You get to help creatures, and you get to be important, and everyone likes you and will even talk to you! It’s wonderful!”

“I appreciate your interest,” Theodore said. “But I regret to say I am not hiring at this time.” He tried to push past her, but Oboe grabbed him by the suitcase and planted her hooves firm on the porch.

“Wait!” She said. “I helped yesterday, right? I did a good thing! I can keep helping you! I can show you how to get any place in the valley, and I’m really strong, and I promise not to mess up! Please? If I mess up you can throw me away!”

Theodore tugged at his suitcase, but he lacked the strength to yank it free of the faun’s rigid grip. She stared at him with big pleading eyes.

“I can’t hire you!” Theodore said, growling.

“Why not?” Her ears drooped. “What’s wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you!” He said, pulling with all his strength. “I don’t need an assistant! I’m quitting!”

Oboe let go of the suitcase, and Theodore fell to the ground in a heap.

“What?” Her face went slack. “You’re leaving?? Why would you leave? No! You can’t leave! Please don’t leave! We need you here! Who’s going to be the Ranger Deputy??”

“Someone else,” Theodore said. He stood up and brushed himself off. “My assignment here was a mistake, but I trust my replacement will be more than capable of serving your needs. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”

Before Theodore could escape, Oboe picked him up by the waist and hauled him back inside the cottage with his legs kicking in the air. “You just got here!” She said, sitting him down at his desk. “It was months before the king sent a new Ranger Deputy! What are we supposed to do without you? Who’s going stop Silas?!”

Theodore sprang back to his feet. “What do you want me to do? Look at me!” He flapped his hands at his scrawny body. “I’m not a knight! I’m a clerk! I can’t fight that maniac! He’d kill me! There’s nothing I can do!!”

Oboe looked away, her lips tight. “When you came here, you said the Ranger Deputy doesn’t have to fight anybody.” Her eyes came into focus as she spotted something. She bent down, and picked the Ranger Deputy badge off the floor. “You said you could help us without having to slay creatures. That…” She looked him in the eye and began to tear up. “That sounded wonderful. I want a Ranger Deputy like you.”

Theodore felt a slap of guilt. He never meant to get anyone’s hopes up. All he wanted was a quiet life of study, one where he didn’t have to kill or run the risk of being killed. His fingers curled into a fist. Governor Farbend forced him into this situation, and Oboe was trying to force him to stay. No one was going to tell him what to do with his life. “This isn’t where I belong. Whatever kind of man you think I am, that’s not who I am.”

 “What about Silas?” Oboe followed Theodore as he moved to leave. “The Red Caps are grabbing creatures all over and picking fights with humans! You’re the only one we can go to for help!”

That was a problem. Silas planned to seize the Fount, which would be considered an act of civil war. There was no way he could stop that himself. “I’ll report what I know to the city Knight Watchmen. They can raid the Red Cap hideout and put a stop to it.”

“No!!” Oboe pulled at her mane. “If you send knights, they’ll slay everybody! There’s lots of good creatures who joined the Red Caps for the wrong reasons! Like me, or Lemmy! They don’t deserve to die!”

“There’s nothing else I can do!” Theodore said. “Do you think I can reason with him or something? He tried to kill us! He’s dangerous!”

The faun stared at the floor, clutching the Ranger Deputy badge to her chest. “You could try.” She took Theodore’s hand and placed badge in his palm. “Please stay.”

Theodore scowled at the badge. He had forgotten to pack it, and would have gotten grief for failing to return it alongside his uniforms. Glaring at Oboe, he said: “No.”

A long, taut silence fell between them.

“Can we still be friends?” She said.

Pushing past her and out the door, Theodore started the long hike to put his time in the Whirlwood behind him.

The trails of the Whirlwood confused and misled. Theodore found himself looping back to the same groves over and over, and when he found dead-ends he would double back to find someplace new. It was as if the forest itself conspired to keep him. It was no matter. Theodore fixed his eyes on capital city, which sat high over the valley on its farthest rim. Whenever he lost his way, he peered up through the trees and marched toward the city like a beacon.

He emerged from the woodland, shabby and worn. The city walls loomed high. The watchmen raised the portcullis, and Lieutenant Fritz sauntered out with a sword in hand.

“You got papers to enter?” He said. “If not, piss off.”

“I’m sorry?” Theodore was startled by the watchman’s tone. “Lieutenant, we’ve met before.”

“I’m not falling for that,” Fritz said. “What you look like doesn’t count for much. You might be a shapeshifter. Maybe a bogeyman, or a doppelganger.” He waved, and a pair of archers on the wall trained their crossbows on Theodore. “If you are who you say you are, then prove it. Otherwise, get lost.”

Theodore felt a deep unease. After longing for home for so long, it was strange to be treated like a threat. He dug through his luggage to find his citizen visa. Fritz took his time checking it for spells with an adder stone: A small rock with a hole worn through the center that you could peer through to see past magical illusions.

“No offense meant, Deputy.” Fritz handed the documents back. The archers stood down at his signal. “Can’t be too careful. The creatures will try anything.”

“It’s fine,” Theodore said, even if it was not. “Is the Captain nearby?”

“Myra?” Fritz sheathed his sword. “Yeah. She’ll be drilling the cadets. I’ll show you.”

The gate rattled shut behind them as the lieutenant led Theodore to the barracks training yard. A large archery target was propped against the far wall with a crudely drawn werewolf on it. A row of trainees took aim with crossbows. With a click and a thunk, one bolt after another sank into the werewolf’s face and chest. Theodore thought of the sweet-tempered werewolf man he met in the Whirlwood.

Myra Redriver swaggered out onto the firing range in her armor like a roguish teapot. “Ned! Gracie! You’re both dead!” She said. “Go sit down!”

“But I hit the target!” One cadet said.

Myra laughed at her. “Yeah, in the arm! You think that’s going to stop a Red Cap? You may only get one shot. Aim for vitals!”

Theodore approached, clearing his throat. “Captain? Do you have a moment?”

Myra eyeballed Theodore a moment before recognizing him. “Ah, Grayweather.” She offered him a short salute. “Glad to see the creatures haven’t skewered you yet. What brings you back to civilization?”

“I have important intelligence to report,” Theodore said. “Can we speak in private?”

“If you like.” She led him inside the barracks, where she pushed open a door left hanging open.

Theodore froze at the sight of the Captain’s office. Papers were piled and scattered across every surface without rhyme or reason. Letters, report forms, requisition requests, newspapers, knives, and accounting sheets were all mixed haphazard. Several half-eaten apples were rotting in odd corners beneath layers of dust. He winced as Myra tipped a chair over and spilled papers all over the floor to make a seat for him.

“What have you got for us, Deputy?” She said, settling into her own chair

It took all of Theodore’s strength to resist the urge to start cleaning. He took a deep breath to focus.

“I’ve uncovered what Silas Jack is planning,” he said.

Myra did a double take. “You’re joking.”

“No,” Theodore said, annoyed. “He’s forcibly conscripting creatures to build an army. He plans to seize control of the Fount in order to cut off our supply of magic.”

“Damned devil!” The Captain swung onto her feet and paced her office. “If we could find the bastard maybe we could stop it before it comes to that.”

“You can’t find him?” Theodore said. “His hideout is in Crookhole Mine.”

She jumped. “What?! Where is that? What is that?”

“It’s an old magic mine, North of Gnomes Borough.”

Myra tore through her mess until she found a map, then swept everything off of her desk to make room for it. “Show me!”

The map was less useful than Theodore would have liked. None of Oboe’s landmarks were labeled. There were vague blobs listed as “Fairies” and “Ghasts,” and little else. Theodore knew the mine was along the base of the Upside Hills, but East of a Moss Tub Lake. He pointed to where it ought to be, and Myra drew a circle around his finger.

“This is fantastic!” She said. “Those book-head wizards have been trying to scry the location for months! How did you figure this out?!”

“I…” Theodore felt strange being congratulated for achieving the impossible. “I just asked where it was.”

She stared him, baffled, before laughing out loud. “Leave it to a Grayweather to actually get something done!” She wheeled him closer to the desk. “What’s your plan?”

He blinked. “My plan?”

“Yes! Your plan!” She threw open a locker and a pile of weapons fell out onto the floor.
“This is your jurisdiction. You’re the authority in the Whirlwood, so you’re in command of the raid. Do you need to borrow a sword?” She started piling blades onto the desk. “I remember you not having a sword for some weird reason.”

Theodore slipped out of his seat. “I want nothing to do with this. I’m quitting.”

“Quitting?” Myra frowned. “Is this a joke? You just started!”

“I’ve had enough,” Theodore said. “I’m entrusting this to you.”

Captain Redriver waited, as if still expecting the punchline of a joke. When it was clear Theodore was serious, she sighed.

“Disappointing,” she said. “I know it’s a shit post, but…” She held her tongue. “Well, at least you’ve done more for me than the last guy.” Myra flashed a smirk. “It’s fine. The Watch can handle this. Give me time to prepare and I’ll rally a strike force. We’ll swoop in and crush every last one of those Red Caps before they even know what’s happening.”

A sick feeling took root in Theodore’s gut. “Isn’t that a bit extreme? Silas is forcing innocents to fight for him. There’s no reason to kill all of them.”

“Starting to feel for the wildlife?” The Captain clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s cute, kid, but we’re talking about the safety of Laien here. The Red Caps are a disease. There’ll be no knowing who’s infected and who’s not. We’re stopping this before it spreads.”

Theodore slouched on a bench in the lobby of the Bureaucracy Dome and waited for his number to be called. He arrived late in the afternoon and was caught in the rush of people who put off their business until the last hours of the day. Dozens of citizens, young and old, noble and lowborn, rich and homeless, all sat shoulder to shoulder with listless resignation. Theodore had no choice but to wait. Light shining through the high vaulted windows crept across the floor as the day wore thin.

Theodore turned the envelope over in his hand and went over his plan for the hundredth time. He would present his violation forms to the Clerk Commandant and have him void the royal appointment. Once that was done he could finally concentrate on enrolling himself into the university. It was only a matter of time.

He fidgeted. Squeezing his palm, he watched as the people around him were called to the counter one by one. Dread welled up inside him as his turn ticked closer. Oboe’s words still rang in his ears and made him itch.

The knights would slaughter any creature party to the Red Caps, regardless of why they were there. Captain Redriver refused to take chances. Mercy would only lead to another revolt.

Oboe and Lemmy would be safe, but there were others who were forced to join the Red Caps. Some had reason to join, frustrated with how the city had treated them. They would all wind up dead. It made Theodore think of the promise he made Lemmy: that he would do what he could to help. But there was nothing he could do. Silas was a killer, and there was no way Theodore could stop him. Handing this off to the Knight’s Watch was the only responsible thing he could do.

For a moment, he was a child again. Somewhere deep inside Crookhole mine, he remembered being cornered by a wicked nymph and werewolf. His heart was pounding. He knew they were a moment away from killing him.

Then father came. The creatures screamed as they died, and the sound was worse than all the fear he felt before. Theodore left the cave with his father, but the screams came with him. They kept him company in the dead of night, and stayed with him when his father called him to train. He cringed, his stomach twisting into knots.

Silas was still a living creature. He was angry with how creatures were treated. Angry enough to kill. Was he just wicked? Or was there more to it than that?

“Number Twenty-Three Twenty-Two!”

Theodore stood up. That was his number. He staggered over to the counter and on the way realized he had crumpled his envelope in his hand. Shaken, he steadied himself and flattened it out again. The Whirlwood Valley was not his problem. If he was going to become a scholar, the city is where he belonged.

The secretary directed him to booth seven, where Clerk Commandant Silverstone looked up from his documents. He didn’t seem to recognize Theodore.

“Good afternoon, sir. What can I do for you?”

Theodore pulled the Ranger Deputy badge out of his pocket. He meant to surrender it with his violation forms. He stopped short.

“I’m Ranger Deputy Theodore Grayweather. I’m here on official business. I need full access to the creature records as part of an investigation.”

Theodore wondered what he was doing. He tucked his ticket to freedom into his pocket and pushed open the door to his old office. Work was piled high on the desks, with stacks of unfiled reports everywhere. Either the dome had failed to assign a replacement, or the person selected was incompetent.

“Theodore?!” Randall, his old co-worker, fumbled with an armload of paperwork before dropping it all on the floor. He looked relieved beyond words. “Does this mean you’re back?!”

“No.” He brushed past Randall and forced himself to focus on the task at hand.

Every citizen of Laien left a paper trail, even creatures. The corner of the archive devoted to creature records was thinner than the rest, and rarely accessed, but Theodore knew those records could tell him what he needed.

He pulled a list of all known members of the Red Caps from the Watch’s reports. Silas Jack and Glut topped the list. He did not recognize the other names, but they gave him a starting point. Theodore flung open one filing cabinet after another and fingered through, cross referencing with the practice of an orchestra maestro in the throes of symphony. Data piled up on the table, and then he dug into it.

Silas Jack had a laundry list of criminal warrants. Assaulting Knight Officers, resisting arrest, conspiring against the crown, sabotaging government property. It all started six years ago. Prior to that his record was spotless. Had something happened? There was an answer here, somewhere. Theodore spread the documents out, scanning and rearranging the puzzle pieces.

Before his criminal spree, the census recorded Silas as living in a place called the Hollows. A marriage certificate was issued fourteen years ago. He was married to another ghast named Scarlett. Both names appeared on a birth certificate for a daughter called Nixie. Were they part of the Red Caps as well? Those names did not appear on the list.

Silas maintained a city visa for decades. He paid taxes on a job as, of all things, a government employee. His job was transporting harvested magic from the Fount to the capital. Eight years later, he stopped filing taxes. Was he fired? No. That was around the time the train was completed. He would’ve been laid off. In place of an income, there were other government job applications, requests for haunting territory, and pleas for financial aid. Everything was stamped for rejection. Theodore narrowed his search to documents after this point, and that’s when he found the court case.

Scarlett and Nixie were charged and convicted with home invasion, burglary, and using haunting territory not assigned to them. Crimes of desperation. Both of them were sentenced to execution. Six years ago, the census noted them both as deceased. Two months later, Silas was registered as wicked for crimes of violence. That’s when he became the first Red Cap. Theodore leaned back. All the puzzle pieces were put together, and what they revealed was a tragedy. Now the anger made sense.

There were similar stories to be found among his accomplices. Glut the Terror was never allowed to enter the city for exceeding acceptable levels of monstrous appearance. The troll Dina reported that she’d been driven out of her home by humans, but there was no record of follow up from the Ranger Deputy. Rowan the nymph filed complaint after complaint that his work on government farmland was never paid. They were all the sort of problems the Ranger Deputy was expected to investigate, and yet they were not. The pattern continued, and then the Ranger Deputies started to disappear.

There was the solution. Theodore collected his notes and hurried, worried he had wasted too much time researching. Outside, the skyline had turned a golden amber. He raced out of the office, forgetting to refile the documents, forgetting his suitcases, and caught the first trolley bound toward the city gates.

After a restless ride, he climbed off the trolley before it came to a full halt. He ran all the way to the train station just outside the city. There was a skeleton crew of watchmen, and the train was gone. Theodore grabbed the first guard he could find.

“Where is Captain Red River?!” Theodore said, pointing his badge in the man’s face. “I’m the Ranger Deputy and I need to speak to her at once!”

The watchman pushed him off. “You missed her. She took every knight we could spare for a raid on the Red Caps. Come back in the morning. With any luck, she’ll have them all slain by daylight.”

Without the train, Theodore was forced to enter the Whirlwood on foot. He ran downhill, his mind prickling with every terrible possibility. Was it already too late? Had the fighting already started? Were creatures dead? Had the knights been killed? He passed through the tree line, feeling heavy with guilt. He had to act now before something happened, assuming it hadn’t already, assuming his plan was worth a damn. He shouldn’t have handed this over to the Watch. If only he had researched the Red Caps sooner, or faster, maybe he could have done something, anything.

The twisting trails wrapped back on themselves and sent Theodore racing in circles. Shadows deepened around him and the last red dregs of daylight bled from the sky. There was no time. Theodore growled in frustration as he looped back to the same crossroad, with the same oak tree, for the third time. He spun in place, wondering how anyone ever found their way in this damned place.

If Oboe were here he might have a chance. She understood the Whirlwood and how to navigate it. The problem was she could be anywhere. Theodore stood as much a chance of finding her as he stood finding his way.

But if she were here, what would she do?

Theodore looked up into the oak tree. “Hello?” He said. “Birds? Are there any birds I can talk to? I’ll settle for squirrels! Anyone, really!”

“What’s wrong with squirrels?!” A gray squirrel said, bounding down from the highest branches to glare at Theodore.

A nightingale popped out of a knothole. “Face facts: Birds are the best. Sooner you get that, sooner you understand how the world works.”

The squirrel hurled an acorn, but the Nightingale ducked. “Come out here and say that to my face, beak brain!”

Theodore waved for attention. “Please! I don’t have time for this! I need your help! Have either of you seen Oboe?”

They glanced at one another. “Who?” 

Theodore tried to describe her. “She’s a faun. Brown fur. Extremely excitable. She’s strong and can turn into other things.”

“Oh, her.” The nightingale said with a hint of distaste. “I heard some starlings gossiping. They saw her at the Boroughs and there was a whole horde of Red Caps following her.” 

“What?!” Was she in danger? “How do I get there from here?” 

“Oh, that’s easy.” The squirrel said. “I know a shortcut. If you go take that path on the left, turn right, then take another right when you loop back here, climb the hill and you’ll hit Gnomes Borough in no time.”

That didn’t make any sense. “Can’t I just take the right path now?”

The nightingale snickered. “Look at the hatchling. Doesn’t even know how the Whirlwood folds itself. What a loser.”

“Listen bub.” The squirrel flicked his tail. “If you don’t like my advice, don’t ask for it. You’re interrupting a busy schedule of nut collecting!” 

“Yeah!” The Nightingale said. “And I want to take a nap! Stop bothering us!” 

The squirrel leapt into the branches and the bird vanishing back down its hole, leaving Theodore with no option but to try.